Skipping Childhood Novel – A Focus on Urban Drama and Child Abuse

 URBAN DRAMA

African American novels are on the rise these days, both in Kindle and print formats.  As a black female author trying to break into this particular market (among others), I’m happy to see so many talented writers.  But with growing numbers of authors writing about urban drama, the competition is that much steeper to gain visibility for your book’s title.  That is one reason why I chose to reclassify the category of my book and drill down to a better subcategory for the title: 

Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child to 

Adolescent Serial Killer)

This is truly a novel that is thrilling and has moments of suspense.  It is also clearly African American fiction that depicts urban family life.  But rather than concentrate on just those elements, when categorizing this book, I’ve made sure to highlight the child abuse and dysfunctional family relationship element.  It was only after I actually read the book myself from beginning to end that I was able to realize an important fact.  The focus of the book is not on the serial killer aspect dealing with the multiple murders, the focus is on the main character’s struggle in dealing with abuse, neglect and abandonment in her life.

With that being said, there was no way to get around not finding a “family” related category to list “Skipping Childhood” in.  Since I’ve modified the book description on Amazon, I decided to post the new description below.  In addition to Fiction > Thriller > Suspense, the book will also be listed as shown here.

BOOK DESCRIPTION

Young South side Chicago mother Diane Baxter will never win any good parenting awards.  Her mother-daughter relationship with her only child Deandra is as dysfunctional as a family can get. 

Diane is an addict and alcoholic, and verbally and physically abusive to Deandra.  In this dark urban drama, Deandra will not stay victim to the sexual predator who befriended her mother.  She takes matters into her own hands, and the result is murder. 

The suspense begins to mount as one killing leads to another and Deandra tries desperately to survive life in foster care.

How will she cope with Diane’s abandonment and not knowing if her mother is dead or alive?  Can a borderline sociopath ever have true happiness?  Or will one final killing mean the death of her only chance for true love?

This is more than just a dark tale of murder for revenge.  This bad seed is the product of child abuse and her story is one of survival.

Not All Urban Families

Of course, Skipping Childhood:  A Novel wasn’t written to try and imply that all urban families are screwed up and dysfunctional.  But while I wouldn’t exactly go that far, I’d be lying if I said I knew of one family that wasn’t screwed up.  I grew up around a lot of families who were equally as dysfunctional as mine.  But somehow, in the midst of chaos, you manage to find a little bit of calm.  Urban families are no different from other families in this regard.  When it comes to child neglect and abuse, no family is immune to the devastation it can cause.  I happen to write about this issue as it relates to urban families because that’s the kind of family life that I personally know.

To learn more about Diane and Deandra Baxter and their rocky mother-daughter relationship, pick up a copy of “Skipping Childhood:  A Novel”

Survivors: Finding Ways to Assert Your Power

EMPOWERMENT

Most people don’t usually think about how much power they do or don’t have in their lives, especially if you’re just a kid.  Everything in your life is pretty much a given; that is, until you’re actually forced to confront the issue of how much or how little power you have over your own life.  While I can’t speak for all victims who have suffered some form of sexual abuse, I can speak for at least one for sure.  I’ve also compared that “one” view with others who often feel the same way.  What way is that?  That you’ll do anything to get it back, once the power over your own body has been intimidated, coerced, taken, or stolen away from you.  Seeking ways to empower yourself after being a victim is not only typical, but natural, as in human nature.

Empowerment   

I recently read one of the survivor’s posts on their abusesurvivorblog.com site.  I was literally blown away at the strength and candor this individual displayed in her writing and sharing her truth.  Some readers (particularly those who have never experienced this type of loss of power) may not understand Sarah’s actions. 

Here is a brief blog excerpt:  {abusesurvivorblog.com}

The adult industry has been what has allowed me to take these past 2 years to heal. There is still a huge stigma about the adult industry. Without it I would be living in poverty. Will I ever be able to be hired at a regular job after being in the adult industry for over 10 years? Nope, probably not. That’s ok, I don’t want to work for other people anyway. One of the amazing things I’ve learned is that I can make my own way. I get to be my true self, no matter what that self is that day. I get to live many lives and explore myself, the artist inside of me, my sexuality. ALL THE THINGS I want are open and waiting for me to experience, to have, to live. I will thrive.

Some readers may be wondering how she could possibly feel a *sense of empowerment by performing sexually related activities.  Perhaps even some actual survivor victims are wondering this, but probably not as many as you might imagine.  As a survivor, I COMPLETELY understand where Sarah is coming from, and I can totally relate to how she described her feelings.  I’m considerably older than Sarah (she’s only 23) and I’ve had a lot more years to outgrow her particular viewpoint, but once upon a time, I was exactly where she is now – I even lived in Las Vegas.  I applaud this young lady for being brave enough to share her truth and I wish her the best in all her endeavors.  I also hope to have her do a guest blog interview on this blog, somewhere in the near future.

All Survivors are Different

While every survivor’s story is different in its own right, still, in a lot of ways, we are all the same.  That’s why it is important to read information like you find here, and determine what best applies to you.  When you can find something that you benefit from – great!  If you find that something is not applicable or helpful to you, ignore it.  This blog, and other formats like it are only meant to provide an open dialogue and pave the way for other survivors.  Hopefully readers can acknowledge and possibly share their own truths.  That is how you get on the road to becoming survivors and not just staying victims.

Some websites and organizations encourage getting therapy and while that might be a good idea, not everyone is willing or even in a good place (mentally) to do that.  Many individuals are still trying to find ways to deal with child abuse triggers that may be hindering their lives even if the abuse was years ago.  Being afraid of conventional therapy is no reason not to seek out some kind of help.  Try to recognize that therapy can come in different ways.  For instance, writing is therapeutic and you can do this in a non-fiction way like the author of the book “Rescued Soul”, or you can hide behind fiction (like me) and share your truth in that way.

“Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child 

to Adolescent Serial Killer)”

Help is Needed

According to the organization called:  Changing Minds Now, “New research shows that witnessing traumatic events…can impact the physical development of a child’s brain — potentially leading to lifelong health and social issues.”  This research was based on children who only witness violence and abuse second-hand.  How much more so is a child’s future and adulthood at stake when they’re the actual victim of abuse?

Getting help for adult victims of child abuse is just as important as the need to get help during the time that the abuse is occurring.  Laws and legalities have “statutes of limitations” not people.  For those who refuse to get some kind of healing, you will NEVER find closure.  There are tons of groups, both online and off, local and nationally, who are devoted to helping “…support those affected by domestic and sexual violence… to empower women and children…”

 

Rainn is a charity that is the largest anti-sexual violence organization around.  They're available to help with their National Sexual Assault Hotline | 1.800.656.HOPE(4673) | Free. Confidential. 24/7.

* Book Related Connection (Character Analysis: Julie)

When it comes to the above survivor’s idea of a “sense of empowerment,” there is one particular character in the book that demonstrates this same ideology.  “Julie” is a foster sister to the main character (Deandra) and she is also being stalked (more or less) by their foster father predator.  In one instance, Julie makes a comment that suddenly turns a light bulb on in Deandra’s head about her confusing promiscuous behavior.

Here’s the book excerpt:

Hearing those words caused tears to pour down Deandra’s face, but she was quiet so Julie wouldn’t know she was crying.  Suddenly Julie’s promiscuous and flirty behavior made more sense.  It used to confuse Deandra how sometimes Julie even behaved that way towards Leonard.  If she wasn’t complaining about what a “creep” he really was, she’d pretend that all his staring and gawking didn’t matter one way or the other.   Now Deandra knew for sure that Julie’s “I don’t care” and “it don’t bother me” attitude was just another performance.  Denial and rebellion were both defense mechanisms she used to help deal with the bad things happening in her life.  Acting flirtatious helped Julie feel like she was in control instead of being controlled.  Now Deandra understood; this was Julie’s way of regaining her power, just like Deandra had her own way of trying to do the same thing.    

How Do You Deal with Your Flaws? (ACCEPTANCE)

ACCEPTANCE

For the last few days since I started this blog, I wake up and think about which words in my 2017 list of topics that I want to talk about.  Sometimes I also end up adding a new word or two (or three) to my growing list.  Just like today, I opted for the word ACCEPTANCE because I had a thought on one aspect of the word, then I started thinking of ways that it pertains to “Skipping Childhood:  A Novel.”  After all, that’s the whole point of this blog anyway – to provide discussions that center around this contemporary African American novel that I’ve written. 

Acceptance Can Be Good

The first thing I want to say on the subject is when I said I wake up and think about what topic I want to discuss, that doesn’t mean that I believe this will be a daily blog.  As far as acceptance goes, I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not good sticking to the kind of commitment it takes to justify labeling this as a “daily blog”. 

WOW!  I actually said that and it felt good to admit!  It’s hard to accept that I don’t have the discipline or stick-to-it-ness, or whatever it takes to commit to making even a brief post every day.  That’s not to say that I haven’t tried in the past, or even done pretty good for a while, but ultimately that kind of pressure bums me out.  After stressing and freaking out for failing to meet too many daily deadlines, I usually just give up on trying to blog daily. 

So I finally accepted the truth and admitted to myself (out loud even) that I probably won’t post to this blog every day.  The strange thing about that is, now that the pressure is off, maybe I will post every day, who knows.  I’m no longer under any obligation, not even to myself, and for some reason that seems to be a motivator to write.  Ain’t it funny how that works? 

So this is just a quick example of how accepting certain truths about your self can actually help you, even when it means acknowledging a flaw.  Sometimes, by acknowledging and accepting that flaw (until you can possibly change it), it helps you to move on.  Once you’re unstuck, you’re in a better position to concentrate on your strengths, instead of beating yourself up over your weaknesses.

Don’t Accept Everything!

While clearly, acceptance can be a good thing, we can’t allow ourselves to fall into the trap of accepting everything.  For one thing, notice something about my above example.  When I said that “I’m no longer under any obligation, not even to myself”, I implied that besides myself, I’ve been worried about my obligation to others.  Being classified as a “daily” blog means that visitors have certain expectations.  My eventual acceptance of myself required me to eliminate that particular factor in the equation.  So by removing or changing other people’s expectations of me, I could honestly evaluate, acknowledge and accept my shortcomings on this issue.

Although it’s good to figure out how to stop worrying about what others expect from us; that still doesn’t let us off the hook about improving ourselves.  There are some very popular words of wisdom known as the Serenity Prayer.  While those words ask for serenity to accept the things we cannot change, they also talk about having courage to change the things we can change.  So you can see right there, that acceptance doesn’t mean accepting defeat and leaving it at that.  Acceptance is needed to acknowledge what is not in your power to do.  But another all important aspect of those famous words is the part that says:  “…the wisdom to know the difference.”  When you know what you truly can’t change, you can focus on an alternative.  

Character Analysis (Deandra Baxter)

Since it’s about that time to make a book reference to our discussion, I think it’s interesting how even a young child like Deandra could grasp the above concept about acceptance.  This point can be seen in one of my recent posts titled:  The Little Girl Who Kills - Deandra Baxter (Character Insight).  Under the subheading:  “How Predators Prevail,” a quote is taken from the book. 

The excerpt is a passage that helps us see how Deandra is accepting the fact that she will probably not tell anyone about her predator’s behavior.  This is typical of abuse victims.  She realizes the expectations that predators have of their selected victims; like how they fully expect victims to stay silent.  While Deandra accepted and acknowledged her own weakness in this regard, it didn’t prevent her from taking another course of action (even though it was rather extreme).  Here’s how the book pointed this out:

“…she probably would never tell, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make him sorry for what he was trying to do.”

Give “Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child to Adolescent Serial Killer)” a read and add your thoughts to the discussion.