Adult Child Abuse Survivors: Sometimes it’s Hard to Keep it Real

CHILD ABUSE

As an adult child abuse survivor, I have to admit; sometimes it’s hard to keep it real even after taking that huge step of making your abuse public knowledge.  It’s no secret that I started this blog to promote and build a dialogue around my book Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child to Adolescent Serial Killer).  I’ve stated that from the very beginning.  This work of fiction can be found in Amazon’s Mystery, Thriller & Suspense category.  But something else I also stated from the beginning is that a large percentage of my novel is based on true events.  The child abuse and neglect was real, the characters were based on real people, the settings, etc… 

Now before the cops come knocking and asking about dead bodies, let me restate that everything EXCEPT the murders were based on true events.  The fictional murders were symbolic of an adult survivor victim’s attempt to kill the bad memories, regain a sense of power and find closure.  But the blog has awakened a new need for this survivor.  I want really want to address these related issues from a “reality” or non-fiction standpoint, and tie it in with dialogue about the book.  And that leads me to my point about it being hard to keep it real.  From a personal aspect, I sometimes find it difficult to address certain topics on my 2017 list of words; though that is my primary mission of the blog.   

All Abuse is Bad

When it comes to different forms of child abuse; as the years progress, some adult survivors tend to minimize the level of abuse they suffered.  Whether it is child neglect, emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse, there is no justification for it.   The abusers should not be let off the hook, even if only in our minds.  Regardless of how we try to minimize or even justify the events, all child abuse is bad and unwarranted.

This point recently came to my mind as a topic for discussion.  Lately, I’ve been paying particular attention to books related to mine in any way shape or form.  It can be really tricky trying to make sure your book title is categorized correctly.  For instance, in addition to being available in the Amazon category that I mentioned above, Skipping Childhood is also listed in the coming of age section.  I put it there, because most of the other titles I found on the topic of child abuse were listed as “true story” books and available in the non-fiction category. 

As I looked over those books and saw some of the horrible things that people have actually done to children, I found myself minimizing my own horrors.  I also found myself wondering if the events I describe in my novel would even remotely justify murder when compared to some of the true life cases.  That is when I began to wonder how much more of my own truth I should divulge, or if in fact I want to cross that line.  Then I told myself what I just stated in the subheading:  “All abuse is bad”.  I don’t have to compare horror stories to determine the level of abuse I experienced.  I also don’t have to feel bad about the way I choose to shed light on this very real issue.  I sincerely hope that everything I have posted thus far and that I continue to post will be of benefit to someone somewhere.  I also believe that my novel can be just as much a source of inspiration and empowerment as some of the non-fiction self-help books for adult survivors.

Even though I’ve made some of my truth known in Skipping Childhood, I have definitely left a lot open to interpretation.  Throughout this year, some of your questions about my ties to the book may be answered in this blog.  I have no doubt that somehow, I’ll muster the courage to continue trying to keep things real in my writing.  I know it won’t always be easy but I plan to stay true to the mission for this blog.  As an adult child abuse survivor, when confronted with difficult choices, I do what we do best; SURVIVE!  

Pick up a copy of 

“Skipping Childhood:  A Novel”

Coming of Age Novel with a Dark Side

COMING OF AGE

A popular form of fiction are coming of age stories; oftentimes due to the similarities we all seem to share when growing up.  Some readers look for things they can relate to when reading about someone else’s upbringing.  But there are also readers who like getting a glimpse into someone’s life that was completely different from their own.  Typically, coming of age books focus more on the journey and the path of the main character as well as their successes and failures along the way.  But sometimes certain events in a character’s life will manage to overshadow their overall journey.  When this happens, you end up with a novel like Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child to Adolescent Serial Killer).

A Dark Side

Skipping Childhood is an urban novel that can be classified into a number of different genres.  The book definitely qualifies as a coming of age story because it spans from the main character’s birth (Deandra Baxter), up until she becomes an adult.  But this particular coming of age story has a serious dark side.  Events begin to unfold with more and more momentum.  Once Deandra resorts to murder as a solution to handling her problems, the suspense starts to mount.  This element to the book makes the title worthy of qualifying in Amazon’s Kindle Store:  Mystery, Thriller & Suspense category.

Hopefully, these two categories won’t somehow end up canceling each other out.  The two categories may seem like an odd partnership, depending on what a person wants to read.  The same can be said about the topic of sexual and physical child abuse.  Such subject matter might be more expected in a coming of age story, but perhaps not so much with a thrilling suspense story.  Yet, despite not necessarily being what readers might typically expect, Skipping Childhood:  A Novel has:

• All the ups and downs of a coming of age story
• All the tears and pain of an abuse story
• And all the excitement and anxiety of a suspense story

Pick up a copy today, and see for yourself what a surprisingly enjoyable blend this book is.

Survival Stories: The Truth in Fiction

ABUSE AND SURVIVAL

I wrote a recent post about children who kill and how most of the books in this category are actually works of non-fiction.  The sad reality is; when dealing with a subject such as abuse and survival, the same thing is true.  I found so many heart-wrenching (non-fiction) stories out there about children who were abused and had to learn how to survive.  Interesting enough, some of those book topics actually end up overlapping; that is to say, some of those books about children who kill are also about children who were abused. 

This is of special interest to me, having written a work of fiction about a child abuse victim who resorts to killing.  Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child to Adolescent Serial Killer) has many of the very same elements that those non-fiction books have.  The reason for this is because Skipping Childhood is a true story of survival, even though many elements of the novel is fiction.  We have all discovered by now that it is not unusual to find truth in fiction, especially when it comes to survival stories. 

In the publishing industry, when a book is based on a true story, presumably, the events that take place are true.  My book has an overwhelming amount of content that is inspired by true events, which is not necessarily the same thing.  While I never knew any 12 year-olds who killed anyone, I’ve known many, if not all of the characters in my book.  I’ve known their lives and their struggles and their challenges, and many of them, I’ve experienced first-hand.  So as an author, I’m able to write about abuse and survival with a sense of credibility, even if I use my imagination when writing about murder.

Difficult to Write and Read

Clearly, some topics are much more difficult to write and even to read.  I came across two books yesterday that I wanted to mention.  Both are based on true stories about child abuse and survival.  No More Pain Kindle Edition is written by Paige Green.  This is one that I purchased and plan to read.  I’ll also be posting a review when I’m done.   

           

The other book I came across is The Undoing: The uncertain nights of the Peterson children Kindle Edition by Gloria Watson.  This one I won’t be reading, and I mean no disrespect to the author.  One of the statements made in the book description is that this book is “not for the faint of heart”.  That rules me out.  I found it hard to even read the description of what both books were about, let alone to dive into something I know will be disturbing. 

The reason I chose to buy No More Pain is because the author did a good job of making me feel saddened by the topic, but curious to see what happens.  I know the content is delicate, but I don’t get put off in the way the author leads me to believe it will be presented.  I think this is an important aspect when writing about child abuse and survival, whether you write fiction or non-fiction.  I appreciate the candor and foresight Ms. Watson (author of the second book) showed.  She gave us a warning about her book and certain readers need to recognize that her warning is for them (like me).  This helps eliminate the chance of reading a book and giving it a poor review because your conscious was offended or it was too graphic to handle.

Writers who are not sensitive to this issue can find themselves being viewed in a questionable way.  I came across one title about a sexually abused child, and the description almost read like one of the erotica books I’ve reviewed in the past.  There should be no blurred lines when it comes to writing about sexual child abuse and writing about an adult sexual encounter.  The language, tone, and everything else should be distinctively different.  Failing to recognize this fact will put off a lot of readers, as well it should.

Less is More

The expression “less is more” has never been more fitting than in the above conversation.  I think authors should apply it when writing the necessary scenes and dialogue in stories about abuse and survival (fiction or non-fiction).  Readers who want to read and understand these types of tragic stories don’t necessarily feel the need for all the gritty details and language surrounding violent and sexual acts.  I personally tried to keep this point in mind when I wrote Skipping Childhood.  The topic is sensitive enough without adding all the shock value of horrific scenes and dialogue.

I welcome you to read Skipping Childhood:  A Novel (From Abused Foster Child to Adolescent Serial Killer) and see what you think about this point.